Day 4 is upon me and the one thing that I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY ABOUT RIGHT NOW, is that my digestion is VERY happy about the food change. There's no way to pussyfoot around this subject, so I'll come right out and say what's on my mind.
When Raw Food is working out for me, pooing is like the most enjoyable experience ever.
When Raw Food isn't working out for me, the constipation, bloating, and uncontrollable gas explosions make me long for a quick death.
This time around Raw Food is working, working, working. Mind you, I've made alot of mistakes along the way, and now there are some food combinations I know to avoid. No nutmilk fruit smoothies, for instance. Shit makes me swell up like a beach ball. If my fiber intake, like, triples over night (as it will anytime you switch from cooked to predominantly raw) I know to up my water big time in the beginning, to move it all through.
Listen, it is categorically impossible to feel sexy and gassy at the same time. This is not my vanity, this is not me being a weenie. Never in the history of raw foods or vixens has a woman managed to pull off a full scale seduction while worrying that any minute her bowels might decide to eject a steady stream of Volatile Organic Compounds. And Raw done Wrong can lead to weeks and weeks of gassy, constipated, autointoxication. I've had to learn this the hard way.
The last time my elimination system went on strike because of Raw Foods I tried to be a man about it. "Toughen up, bitch!" I sternly admonished myself. "No one's ever gotten a fully detoxed cell structure by complaining about every little stomach ache and grumble." Of course this self directed vitriol only managed to make my stomach hurt worse. That time around I learned that my bowels will happily close shop if I don't talk nicely to myself. :) Stress and anger constipate me as quickly as bad food does.
Who knew?
Ingenue
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