My mission, should I choose to accept it....

God, make me a channel of thy peace;
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
God, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
Amen.

How beautiful is that? So hard to embody but as the Full Moon Lunar eclipse in Virgo nears I feel called back to this beautiful and high truth. I spent the month scurrying around trying to find comfort, I shouted my beliefs at the top of my lungs trying to be understood, I demanded love without being able to give it freely myself. And that was totally what I needed to be doing. I'm a trial and error sort of girl and thankfully life seems to support me in that. It's not like I get one chance to learn these karmic lessons and then it's over. They get brought up again and again and again. Alcoholics are notoriously slow learners so this is a good thing.

I think my recent entry into a more charitable frame of mind is thanks to the classes I took at Jivamukti this weekend. Holy. Sweet. Jesus. My body is sore in places I didn't know I had, and my soul is singing. My heart chakra feels, well, open. Unstruck, as the yogi's say. My heart chakra has really been putting me through it of late. For those that haven't yet, meet your fourth (heart) chakra:

Issues of love, grief, hatred, anger, jealousy, fears of betrayal, of loneliness, as well as the ability to heal ourselves and others are centered in the fourth chakra. From this position in the middle of the body the fourth chakra is the balance between your body and spirit. This chakra is the place where unconditional love is centered. Unconditional Love is a creative and powerful energy that may guide and help us through the most difficult times. This energy is available in any moment, if we turn our attention to it and use it to free us from our limits and fears.

I've been re-reading through my blogs of the last month and nearly all of the work I've been doing as been fourth chakra work. So thank the Heavens, the Earth, and Everything in Between that I finally found a yoga practice that supports that. Jivamukti is the real deal my friends. Right now I have the one week unlimited trial and I want to go every day! After that I have two free class cards which should get me through the weekend and then after that, well, it'll get a little sticky. Let's just say enlightenment is not cheap in this setting. To be able to go four/five times a week will run me about 250 bucks a month. Hmmm.

I think the perfect solution for me will be one that allows a balance between my home practice and the classes. It's just that the classes are so damn good. I feel completely transcended when I walk out of there. I feel depth and gratitude, and most noticeably, gooey giggling uncontrollable and unconditional love. Love for subway seats, love for ex boyfriends, love for questionable haircuts. It's a new sensation and I don't think I'll spend too much time trying to define it, because I'm certain this is supposed to remain a mystery. I'm cool with that, I just want to go deeper into it, you know?

So all of this brings me right back to St. Francis's prayer for peace. I think this call to surrender myself in service is perfectly evocative of the transformation underway in me. I don't need to go anywhere, do anything, be anyone else, to serve. Every day my life gives me countless opportunites to get it. Serve. Understand. Accept.

Anyways, that may look like a bit of a ramble, but it all makes perfect sense in my head. I've been opened to a new consciousness is what I'm trying to tell you. It's lovely and welcome. Maybe I should have said that at the start, eh?

Yours in absolute Yogini bliss,
Ingenue