Did you miss me?

My poor beloved blog! Holy Jesus, I haven't updated you in like, too long. Goes to show you how busy I am at the new job (loves it) and how much extraneous free time I had at the old (bane of my existence). Yes I am running around like a Very Important Princess but that is absolutely no excuse for leaving you hanging. Dear sweet Bloggedy Blog. I hope you're not too mad.....

Anywho, I barely know where to begin to catch you up! So much has happened in the last two weeks. Most of it is the same old shit, but there are some new developments I should probably highlight. I have a new girlfriend in the program! She's lovely. She's counting days (like really counting days, I think she just got her first week) but she's definitely coming into the rooms with some spirtual cajones. She loves all the same astrology I do and she's a dead ringer for Catherine Zeta Jones but cuter. How perfect is she? Oh I know it sounds like I'm putting her on bit of a pedestal, but I simply can't help myself. I have been so starved for another semi-normal female! I mean she's sick like we all are, but she's so delighful in her disease that I can't help adoring her. Some drunks just got it like that.

She's working really hard too. She's stepping outside of her comfort zones every day for the sake of her sobriety and that is totally inspiring to me. And boy did I need to inspired. I think I was going through some sort of four month/fourth step slump (is there such a thing?). So her presence in this life is deeply welcomed. I hope she wins all the marbles, Blog. She deserves them.

Other than that I still feel like an absolute mess with my internals. I have rage issues and unpaid debts and rage issues because of the unpaid debts and a messy dating life because I keep trying to use boys as an escape from my inside chaos. Whew! And if that's not bad enough, everytime I try to change this stuff I plan out this major psychic overhaul, bite off way more than I can chew, fall on my ass, and end up with five days of deep depression as a reward for my efforts. You know all about this stuff blog. I know, preaching to the choir, right? So unfortunately all I can really do right now is accept my disfunction and try and do any little thing in a day differently. And pray that it all adds up. Every one keeps telling me that not drinking day in day out is winning the battle, but I still feel so wrong. So less than. Like I need to change everything about myself stat. But that's not really the point is it? It's a program of self-acceptance. It's time to start accepting. That is my HP's dearest command for me and it's time to heed the call.

Anyways, I love you Blog! I've missed you more than you know, and I promise I'll write more regularly. Don't be too mad at me, kay?

xoxoxo
Me